i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
