today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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