but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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