But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
