I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
