After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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