also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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