He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
