So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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