you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
