you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Less talking, more tequila
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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