Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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