so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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