if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
