Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize