No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
