Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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