yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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