If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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