Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
