Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
