i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
