as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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