This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
