trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
