I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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