I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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