I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
