just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I had to cum in my sink.
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