Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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