Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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