New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i would punch a child for taco bell
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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