it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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