the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
