my vag is so smooth its legendary
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
