My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
