I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
