I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
