I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
