i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
