Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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