My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
