my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
