Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
