Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
smell my finger.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
