He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
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he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
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No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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