Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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