Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
In other news, I just burned my penis
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
