imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
