we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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