Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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