Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
