i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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