Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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