Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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