she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.