hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.