I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.