You're my little dorito
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
