new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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